DARE TO BE IMPERFECT

One day I saw a lady wearing a shirt with the caption ‘She died of perfection’.

The other day I saw a movie titled ‘Black Swan’ also on the dangers of being perfect.

Sheer coincidence.  

In the film the protagonist, a ballerina is a very committed dancer and a true perfectionist. When other ballerina competes for her role in a play the pressure to retain the spot causes the protagonist to slowly lose grip on the reality and she had a living nightmare every day. She however retained the position in the play on the show day. But without realizing apparently, she slowly killed herself in the process. After the play the cast gather together to congratulate her, only to find her severely bleeding. Her last whispers were “I felt it. Perfect. It was perfect.” and she died.

All this kept me thinking.

Many a times I am a tough nut to crack. I may seem soft and docile on the outside but it is very difficult to change me when I have a point of view. My close ones know me best. And they have been stunned by my strong retaliations. This tough stand has proved to be good many a times, sometimes bad, sometimes worse.

These tough stances have made me make the great and best choices (which may have seemed to be stupid wait to others). But many a times when I want things to be done a certain way and if things don’t go the way I desire I become neurotic. It takes the better of me.

I've learnt the lesson now. Don’t be tough on you. Dare to be imperfect (or rather be accommodating) and bring out something new in you.

CHANGE – are you ready to brace the unknown

How many times have we heard this adage ‘Change is the only constant thing is life.’

But do we embrace change fearlessly.

My best laid plans have burst apart. In such times I fear a part of me is losing myself or that I am not able to control the situation in my hand. Do I burst apart now?

What has happened cannot be erased or changed. Atleast I can embrace the present and be more accommodating.

Your power not lies in steadfastly controlling the situation. You only become domineering, neurotic and become blind to the options around.

In tough times your beauty lies in letting go off the plan/ situation, see what new unfurls in front of you and immediately grasping that idea into your life.

Even trees enjoy their process of change or to put it aptly the process of revelation and renovation. It does not crib but responds immediately to the various changing conditions around. Ultimately it enjoys the bounty and the change it sees in it after every season. Yet it lays strong in its roots and remains unshackled whatever the condition it is in. It stands TALL, STRONG and PROUD.

I've learnt a lesson or two from the bounty tree. Not to fear changes as death but rather see it as a new birth and a possibility to see something new in you. If you consider like that life will be better off in the end.

So I've let things to sail on its own terms. It puts your life at ease. You are able to appreciate yourself more and also enjoy the beauty and bounty around you. 

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Got these interesting two pics from FB. This should be the condition of most of the Indian couples abroad. And indeed, this is the state of both of us now!

This is one of those times where I have plenty of time at my disposal, yet don't know what to do. Feeling like a caged bird wanting to fly high up in the sky. I am not destined for just the role of a 'HW'. What example will I set for my daughter/ kids if I be complacent in this state? I want to let them know 'not to be deterred in your ambitions and passions whatever be the condition, wherever you are'.  

I can see my mom,mil and many others pondering years later now of the lost and precious times. And they believe its too late a time for realization now, after being habituated the role of HW for many years. Oh, I wish to revert this state of mine soon before I think its too late!

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Getting into a relationship and furthermore leading/ sustaining a meaningful life together involves a life of sharing, caring and eternal love. You’ll have so much to gain and much to lose. There is no magic formula for having an ideal life together.

- Don’t impose rules upon each other, only on yourselves. Give each other enough room and freedom to be what they are.

- LOVE FOR WHAT S/HE REALLY IS...don’t impose too much of your ideals on him – enjoy/ accept looking past his/ her faults without experiencing/ expressing let-down.

- In the marriages of yesteryears, girls especially were bound by rules and traditions eventually dumping themselves in too much of domesticity and ignoring what they are worth for. Dont let rules and traditions overrule you. Times have changed.

- Communicate your dreams and ideas to each other. Give enough room for self expression.

- Avoid allusions and criticisms. That could turn to be much irritating and frustrating.

- But remember, don’t just gloss over problems to keep peace, which is not a good idea in the long run. Certain amount of interference over the other is needed. Genuine faults and mistakes of the other should be communicated in the right way.

- However deeply you love a person, remember the fact that you and your partner are two different individuals. You as an individual have own set of likes, dislikes and priorities. Especially girls tend to be too accommodating and compromising after marriage. To be compromising or not is one’s own decision, but always remember to take time out for yourself.

- Humour lightens up the hardships and seriousness around. Be funny for each other! Have fun.

- Bring intimacy between you to let the magic of your relationship going, Read these few lines somewhere and found them interesting. 

(Romantic love is the love that brings two people together into a relationship and intimate love is the love that sustains a relationship. Romantic love is intense and capable of generating ecstasy as well as agony. Intimate love is more gentle and flowing. Romantic love is about passion. Intimate love is about nurturing.

Both are desirable in a marriage, but not together. Romantic love starts off a marriage and lasts from a few months to a few years. Intimate love stays with you for the rest of the marriage.)

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Three years since 2008 and three new cities lived – Seoul, Mumbai, Chennai…

…and now moved to Melbourne !!

Different cities, different culture, different people, different encounters…each city brought out something new in me and made me grow more as a person.

Fresh out of college, moving to Seoul was an enriching experience. This city opened my eyes to the world. Though it was a much unknown place, the friendly and courteous people made me feel at home. It was a short and awesome stay there. Many a times now, I have yearned to travel back to this city atleast once and relive those memories.

It was then to Mumbai, the cosmopolitan Indian city, with the hustle and bustle all around all time. This buoyant city with its upbeat people always keeps you on your toes. I experienced both khatta-meetha facets of my life in this city.

And it was then to Namma Chennai. It felt good being back to my own place with dear ones nearby. And the wonderful work in the new company made me upbeat.  But, God! The scorching heat here made me go slain. However, this is the city which gave me everlasting sweet memories hanging around with my special loved one and my family.

And now packed bags and moved to Melbourne! A truly cosmopolitan city it is. The nature in this country is out of the world and these people are known for their hedonistic lifestyle. All these touches you in a good way. Exploring this city is fun and I wish to discover more about me through this city.

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After our marriage, we were trotting between Chennai and Madurai several times a month attending feast after feast with family, relatives and friends (also with an increase in our abdominal girth and weight!...lots of physical activity needs to be put in to reduce them!) and many of them visiting our new home. Everything was a pleasant and a new experience.

Some formalities after marriage were mundane drivel and intolerable for the heck of it, some of them fun. Many things were learnt and experienced from them. All this made us more wiser and mature individuals. Later in life, we would be tad less disappointed for not having experienced them…when else, we would get this special status and honor of newlywed couples! This is the time for bonding, knowing relations, our customs, traditions and their various formalities.  Later we would be sunk in our own world and works that we miss out knowing or experiencing them.

It all ended with our Thalai Deepavali - New dresses, lots of crackers, lots of rich and sweet food and lots of special moments with dear ones. It was the best Diwali ever!

Now all set to pack our bags and move to a new place again…

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Keep your passions burning, or else in days they might fade out and die away. In the turn of events in our life, we might get complacent with what we have at the present that we miss out searching the inner passions and potentials in us. BRING THE INNER CHILD IN YOU OUTSIDE. People may call you crazy and lunatic. But don’t let those words overrule you. Live each day like it’s your last, after all what is life without a sense of purpose.

Passions are strengths. When life becomes stagnant with problems at some stage, it is your passion which will keep you going. Keep exploring and learning every day.

(A small poem written during Acumen – third year cultural event in college)

Nothing is impossible in the world, if you desire

You can soar up high and high, only if you aspire

Imagine being the stars of the never – ending sky

Is your adrenalin pumping and you give a deep sigh

Gird up your loins man

With burning desire and passion, you really can…

You can really cross your way

Having a resolute mind to be desirous come what may

Remember, THERE IS NO DETOUR TO SUCCESS

It’s only by the sweat of your brow

That you can catch the throw

Be trained to overcome any kinds of odds

You can even rule the world bending the rod

You can cross your way

Having a resolute mind to be desirous, come what may

Explore the myth of the impossible

Unravel to the world that everything is possible

Don’t always frown

But be arduous and desirous and have glory’s crown                    

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I am all ears to take ideas, opinions and advices from others, but if they are imposed upon I will be in no mood to take attitude from anyone. This is one life I can live and explore and I don’t wish to live by standards dictated by others. And I hate comparisons in any form.

I am not at all being dogmatic or headstrong. To play the many roles I am expected to in my life – a good daughter, wife, Dil, sister, friend…, I know I need to be flexible and adaptable and a person with an open mind. Only then others will warm up to me.  But I cannot stand on anything that is thrust upon me. I wish to maintain my individuality in any relationship.

Appreciate the good of others but know the REAL YOU and live the way you wish to lead your life. Cast aside all uneasiness and try to be objective and maintain your principles and live by your standards. Good or bad you will be very much contended for having lived your life the way you wanted. 

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However cool and prepared you are for your marriage day, the feelings of butterflies in the stomach and the goose bumps you get when your person ties the knot with the kalyanamelam (nadhaswaram) at the background is unexplainable. Even the most rational person will get emotional. Those were the magic moments which transformed my life - a turning point in one’s life with the beginning of a special bond of love.

You don’t realize what is happening around you. Things happen in a jiffy.

Later when I recall those moments, I realize how it was such a blessed and magic moment with every near and dear ones around wishing you a happy life ahead. Those are MOMENTS TO CHERISH :)

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After a very long long time, I watched five full-length movies this month! Unbelieavable for a person like me who till now didn't have patience to sit and watch a 2-3 hour full movie.

Two of them were ‘I am Sam’ and ‘Life is beautiful’…both Academy award winning movies…both centering on the theme of love…both should be on the must watch list...I am Sam deals with father-daughter affection and Life is beautiful emphasizes the importance of love, family and imagination in sailing through life and conquering its difficulties.

‘I am Sam’ is an American film starring Sean Penn (Sam Dawson) as a father with developmental disability and his seven year old daughter Dakota Fanning (Lucy)…the child is abandoned by her mother after birth…with love, care and with supportive group of people around he raises his child but soon Lucy surpasses his mental ability (Sam has the intellectual capacity of a seven year old only)... Other children tease her for having a "retard" as a father, and she becomes too embarrassed to accept that she is more intellectually advanced than Sam…in preparation for a custody case, a social worker takes Lucy away…how Sam gets his daughter back proving convincingly that he is a loving father despite his handicap is the story…it says that even developmentally challenged people can foster and raise children well…all what a child needs is only love, care and affection.

Life is Beautiful (La Vita e Bella) is an Italian film starring Robert Benigni (who is also the director of the film) as Guido and Nicoletta Braschi as Dora. Guido found the woman of his dreams and he does everything to sweap her off her feat and carry her away. Theirs was a fairy tale of love and romance portrayed convincingly with the help of humour. They later have a son (Giosue). When everything seemed to go their way, the second World War had begun and everyone are taken to Nazi concentration camp. It showcases the stark reality of a Nazi concentration camp. In order to keep up spirits, Guido convinces his son that the camp is just a game in which the first person who gets 1000 points wins a tank. He tries to find Dora. After finding Dora, Guido is caught and shot dead by the Nazi guards. Giosue manages to survive and thinks he has won the game when an American tank arrives to liberate the camp. He is reunited with his mother, not knowing that his father has been killed. When Giosue grows up, he realises his father's sacrifice for his family. The movie convincingly tells the message that humour brightens our life and lightens the miseries that we may overcome through life. Life is beautiful if we know to see the beautiful positive aspects of life.

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The scorching heat here drives me insane and wild

And I wonder when the windy season will arrive

Winds remind me of wind chimes… am so so fascinated by the sounds of wind chimes…wind chimes are so amazing and so beautifully sounding… THE SOOTHING TINKLING SOUND when you tweak it as you walk past…it feels like the wind singing…the mild breeze blowing on your face along with the sound of chimes is such a bliss

Have it anywhere in your house where there is free flow of wind

Could listen to it for hours and feel at peace by the beauty of the sounds they make…they are so magical

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In this ultra – competitive world, we run a marathon race after name, fame, wealth, fortune and status ignoring the little things which make our life beautiful. Of course, who doesn’t want the above. Even I do. But it is necessary to call it a halt sometimes.

You may have finished running the track. But remember life track runs straight and you cannot revisit parts of your life again. Do make a run but remember to take halts then and then and smell the roses that adorn the sides of the track. Count your blessings. Celebrate life.

Life is not just about work, money and worry. You may have attained your desired throne. Yet some vacuum may be thronging and nagging deep within you. You will then realize that you missed the real sweet small things that truly make up your life…your family, friends, loved ones and the world around you. They make your life complete. Stop and smell the roses before there are no roses at all.

Life goes at a frenetic pace that we don’t sit, idle, relax and observe/ appreciate the beauty and bounty around us. Many a times even I find it hard to just sit and relax. The following excerpts from Wayne Muller’s book Sabbath really opened my eyes…

‘We say this to one another as if our exhaustion were a trophy, our ability to withstand stress a mark of character. The busier we are, the more important we seem to ourselves and, we imagine, to others. To be unavailable to our friends and family, to be unable to find time for the sunset (or even to know the sun has set), to whiz through our obligations without time for a single mindful breath -- this has become the model of a successful life.

Yet the more our life speeds up, the more we feel weary, overwhelmed, lost. Our life and work rarely feel light, pleasant or healing. Instead, as it all piles endlessly upon itself, the whole experience of being alive begins to melt into one enormous obligation.

Because we do not rest, we lose our way. We miss the compass points that show us where to go, the nourishment that gives us succor, the quiet that gives us wisdom.’

REST IS NOT JUST A PSYCHOLOGICAL CONVENIENCE, BUT A SPIRITUAL AND BIOLOGICAL NECESSITY.

So its time to reshuffle our priorities?!

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Just realized my blog is 1 year 2 days old! A lot has happened over the past year…

Dreams chased
Places went
Deeds did
Knowledge gained
Values nurtured
Worries contemplated
Compromises made
Problems solved
Relationships built

Moments of awe are in every moment we live and thrive…there is something to marvel at life always…

LIFE…LIVE IT…CHERISH IT…

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All your life, you might have dreamt of having that big day

But when the day nears you get jitters down the spine…

Actually if you are not getting those butterflies in your stomach, you are not doing something right :) It happens…

But once you muster up courage and let those bottled up butterflies out, you may find them flying high up in the air leading you to the sunny and brighter side of life

And feel blessed and lucky enough to live through these times

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Am just thinking if I am not thinking more these days! Being preoccupied with certain works and few transitions are cluttering my mind now…it’s been long time since I read a book or indulged in my favorite hobby…no qualms about it though, since every happening teaches us some important lessons in life…

Need to bring vitality and vigour to my life and my blog soon.

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Liked these lines from the book 'If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him'.

- A grown up can be no man's disciple.

- " The most important thing that each man must learn is no one can teach him. Once he accepts this disappointment, he will be able to stop depending on the therapist, the guru who turns out to be just another struggling human being."

Destiny is in your hands. Have a fresh, realistic approach towards altering your destiny and accept the responsibility that grows with increased freedom.

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Yes, I am yet to explore aspects of Chennai…the next day after writing the previous blog, I found a very interesting post on my office board…30 things to do in Chennai…hope I find some time out of my daily schedule to schedule out my plans to explore…

1. Take a walk on the beach from Marina to Elliot's Beach

2. Capture the Sunrise at Broken Bridge

3. Haggle over trinkets at Pondy Bazaar

4. Scourge for a long forgotten book at Moor Market... trust me you'll get it...

5. Click the Moon on Full moon day at Thiruvanmiyur Beach

6. Have a quaint cup of coffee at Rathna Cafe

7. Enjoy the peace at Kapaleeshwarar Temple, Mylapore..

8. Squeeze through the crowd to get vegetables at Koyambedu

9. "Enjoy" the pulling and pushing at Ranganathan Street

10. Pay over Rs.200 for a ten minute Autoride

11. Catch a movie at Broadway Talkies.. scoot over multiplexes...

12. Read some ancient literature at Connemaara Library

13. Attend a Music concert at TTK Salai

14. Pray along the waves at the Sea shore Sai Temple, Injambakkam

15. Party on a hired boat at Muttukaadu Lake

16. Look out for an ancient yet sturdy buildings at Mint Street

17. Climb the Lighthouse at Marina

18. Pick up a handicraft doll at Alwarpet

19. Wait in queue to get a plate of hot Puliyothare at Grand Sweets & Snacks

20. Refrain from feeding the baby crocs at the Crocodile Park

21. Ape the monkeys at Guindy Children's Park

22. Try finding the Adyar Banyan Tree.. No Google is not allowed

23. Spot a Sandalwood Tree at Vandalur Zoo

24. Try gaining an entry into the Guindy National park.. a Reserve forest right at the heart of the city, where else can u find it...

25. Handle the snakes at 3 pm daily at the Snake Park

26. Munch on a Vada, fresh off the Vada-mala of the 32 feet tall Anjaneyar Statue at Nanganallur

27. Attend a marriage at any of the chthrams at Vadapalani

28. Attend the Vinayak Visarjan at Sowcarpet...

29. Relish a plate of Biriyani at Samco, TTK road

30. Take the MRTS from Velachery to Beach

Did not know that there would be such creative ways to have fun and relax around this city

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Its been long since I updated my blog…last one month was kind of a transition period for me…it was bye to Mumbai, and yes now it is ‘Chennai – here I come’. Phew, I am really scattered (both my energies and mind), trying to fit in my new place and work…hope I collect my energies and proceed well forward…hope everything goes well…I am a firm believer of ‘Everything happens for a reason’ (Good or bad)

Found an interesting video on Chennai – the place, the people and the city life. Namma Chennai! – should I hail or disdain Chennai…only time will tell…I am yet to explore aspects of Chennai…

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Happened to bounce upon these lyric by Robbie Williams…found it interesting and felt these lines closer to my heart in some way…

First they ignore you
Then laugh at you and hate you
Then they fight you
Then you win

When the truth dies very bad things happen
They're being heartless again
I know it's coming and there's going to be violence
I've taken as much as I'm willing to take
Why do you think we should suffer in silence?
When a heart is broken there's nothing to break.

…….

You don't want the truth the truth is boring
I've got this fever, need to
Leave the house
Leave the car
Leave the bad men where they are
I leave a few shells in my gun
N' stop me staring at the sun....

Attempted to make my own interpretation to these lines

IT'S A MAD MAD WORLD…truth doesn’t survive…rather has a short life…only the treacherous and unscrupulous people (seem to) have their way…first they ignore you, then laugh at you and hate you…yes I’ve taken as much as I’m willing to take…but now I don’t want to suffer in silence…I am now ready to speak out, fight against them…I know its coming and there’s going to be violence…so when the truth dies very bad things happen, but they have to happen…ultimately the truth only wins…truth triumphs….

Countless cover ups and conspiracy leads us to great unstability…it’s a vicious cycle which may run deep

So, I am right now leaving the place, leave the bad men where they are, leave all the material things behind…but remember I have a gun with me for protection and my rightful soul behind me…BEWARE

Truth will triumph…will come back with vigour

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Wow, it's that time of the year again.
Rain..Rain..has come again..
The scorching heat has gone into slain.
Give your creative musings a beam,
Although childish it may seem.








I lay in my bed crestfallen
And there was nobody with me to embolden
My mind kept hovering around my worries
And there laid unanswered many of my worries

Lonely, I strode to my garden
To watch out for the Nature’s caravan

Suddenly, there was lightning and thunder with its full might
Turned my mood very garish and bright
Then came the heavy downpour
And I was led to the Nature’s door

Humming, dancing, jumping…filled with joy
I was singing with the full might of my voice
“Wow! It’s a rainy day
Put all your worries at bay
Your dreams are now at a sway
It’s in the Nature’s lap that you lay
Have a small merry-go-around in the rain full of gay
All the enjoyment is for free with no pay”

The rain has ceased
But the sway of my mood has never ceased

A mild wind was blowing on my face
My soul was set at a new pace

The songs of the birds were so mellifluous
Singing their song in a big chorus
I love to cherish the smell of the sand
Made a great feeling that I was in the Nature’s land
The garden looked fresh and anew
Flowers were adorned with pearls in the form of water dew
The bright streak of sun’s ray’s
Fell on the garden’s way
Far above in the sky was also the rainbow’s ring
The sight of which was so scintillating

With a great yell asked the rain to come again another day
To enjoy the bond with the rain and play

Rain – really enthralled and enlightened my mind
Has the power even to heal the blind  

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